But more and more frequently, I find myself at a loss for words.
Hence the amount of time since my last post (whoops). Back in May I got an email from Tumblr celebrating that my account had been opened for nine years. That obviously peaked my attention, so I went on a deep dive into my younger life throughout the end of high school and into college. It had the typically re-blogged pictures and also a boat-load of writing about the current events in my life.
I think that part of being young and truthfully not knowing anything, you feel like everything is the end of the world. I don’t quite know when that flip switched because I no longer feel like every day events are the end of the world nor do I feel like my life is regularly imploding.
But I will say, the one thing that I found the most interesting about past-Alexis is the brutal honesty that came with my thoughts. I guess at the time I wasn’t afraid to voice my opinion, but I was also younger and didn’t know as much about the world. I loved the beauty in the pictures and the simplicity in the words. I still really love to look back at that account because it still is and feels like a piece of me.
“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.”
Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire. Fearless. I remember the time when I was fearless and I could conquer every task that was put in front of me regardless of every thing else. I think part of what extinguished the fire in my soul has been the waiting on my clearance (almost 30 months and counting..) Reflecting on it, I feel like I lost a piece of myself in the process. Hanging on, waiting for them to say “yes, here it is.”
At the beginning of 2019 I said that my word of the year was intentional and I’m not quite sure if I’ve been living out that word to the extent that I wanted to. I want to make intentional choices and to have intentional friendships. I want to keep my promises to others + myself.
This is obviously still going to be a blog about books, but it also says right in the name, Arguably Alexis. This is the place for my thoughts on books and my journey in life.
Here’s to turning 25, getting engaged and to figuring out what I want this crazy life to be.